i am alive

yeah or something like that. thursday i had to pick up early my girl because she didn´t feel well so my routine went together, i could play some capoeira at night though so it was not totally zero.
after a break yesterday i could manage to practise a little (yoga with adriene) before my little one wakes up again. i am alive was the mantra of today, but all i can feel is stress coming back to my body and pain from the little capoeira i´ve played this week. sore shoulders from carving wood.

i awaken

i awaken my mind and my hip joints today with yogawithadriene. it still is very hard to focus when i come back home after leaving my little one crying at pre-school. i have to get in mind that i deserve this time for me. i still feel guilty of not having her around, doing things for me and find my own rhytm to start in the day.

very stiff hamstrings and the usual hip problem. ouch

I embrace ...

... yeah what? even though i was not motivated at all today in the morning - i had to bring my daughter to pre-school, she is going to stay the whole day there. kids crying for mom, not knowing what´s going on makes it not easy to turn around and go.
coming home and going straight to pratise was very hard. but i´ve done it. i couldn´t get 100 % into it until the end and i think i am going to do my meditation session later, when my mind is free from daily routine (so not!).

namaste

and today i embrace myself and my asymetric body ;-)

I (hopefully) create ...

routine, rhythm, more flex and time, space and inner peace. 

tensions yesterday started that i realised i can´t put anything aside to create my space and time(window) to pratise. i was hard to get through the day, i could feel sore muscles in my shoulder only from the little practise i had the day before yesterday - which showed me once again how i weakend the last few months. i can´t recall a moment in my last years, or even decade where i´ve been that much out of shape. it´s frustrating and i strongly have to remind myself that what i do i do for me. 

today after coffee i could manage to get one hour of pracise (adriene!!) and a 10 min meditation, almost quiet, almost calm, but a lot in my mind. still. better start than yesterday! and off we go..

she started pre-school

nearly one month has passed and i´ve been busy to get myself together again. first my stomach was not well again so i had a timeout in doing anything more than walking. then we started our capoeira classes again and more and more i am getting involved in teaching there too. mainly stretching and endurance but ok and very exciting for me, although i am often tired the next morning and i am longing for a bit more time for myself.

which is happening right now. the first time since my daughter is born, over 1,5 years, i am not around her, and can have time for my yoga practise and meditation. she started pre-school. honestly i was counting the days until i can train peacefully in the mornings, i think only mothers can understand who actually are 24/7 with a baby - my daughter never spent a day or even hours away from me, not even at grandparents´. i was starting to feel really worn out and i lost the view on my inner body. it feels like myself is fading away.

today, in my first 2,5 hours by myself, i started with a gentle yoga session (yoga with adrianne on youtube), simple sunsalutations and the first meditation session of 7mind (a meditation guide app in german). at the end i felt my body pounding, grounded and gentle warm and soft. 

and now.. a cup of coffee !

#15 #16

plank days . it's defenitely getting harder... 2 mins and counting.

#14

capoeira, plank and so so done from the week. looking back seems like i've done nothing.